It is a mess, Starving2death. And I hope everyone on this thread is doing OK.

Hopefully, those who need it are back in therapy.

The good news is, the spell AN has cast over you can be broken. Not in 5 years, not in 20 years, but right now.

It's one of the few positive things about ED's... unlike some afflictions and diseases, AN starts and ends in our own minds.

What you've created, you can also destroy.

To the original poster... in my experience, the food you eat after you've 'woken up' doesn't really matter. It's not about the food. It's about the mindset.

We tell ourselves it's too complex, that we can't deal with a normal eating routine. But, in truth, we know what a healthy-ish diet looks like.

Just keep going forward. You'll be amazed how quickly the thoughts about food start to fade. That's because you're NOT HUNGRY.

Lots of love to everyone.