First off: HUGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Second: You cannot CANNOT fix anyone that don't want to be fixed or helped or will even admit a problem. I wasted 13 yrs of my life learning the hard way, the very hard way. Once that is realized, you will be able to see other possibilities, maybe small windows open for you?? I dunno, maybe just being relieved to finally come to idea it is not on you, it is not your fault, you are not to blame, and you can find your way.

Third: Your mom, while being like that and unwilling to face facts, she does not and WILL NOT out up with being told her problems...it is an illness, a disease. She will lash out at those who point it out (just as my ex did to me).

Please please please understand that it is not on you....
PM if you need to I will listen and understand. ~ Mel