I am having this strong urge to want to explore my T's healing capabilities next time I am with him. He has told me before, "I am not a therapist, I am a healer." And what we have done together has been very healing, to my soul and my life. We have done EMDR for trauma and getting unstuck. I was skeptical about this, but it really helped. We have done talk therapy and forged a close and mutualistic relationship that in itself has been very healing. It has showed me that I am capable of being close to someone again, even after all this hurt.

What else can T do? He has told me several times before that his training is amazing, and has invited me subtly to ask him about his training. But I never have. He has not pushed this on me. I think he has some training in energy work and the shamanistic arts. I think, but I don't know.... Now I am curious. I want to know more and maybe take what we do to a different level. I am worried about this abnormal growth on my ovary and the exploratory surgery I have scheduled in a few weeks.

I want to share this with T and ask him about his training, and see if he puts two and two together. I want to know if he thinks he has any ability to impart physical healing. If he does, I want him to offer that to me, without my asking. I feel unable to ask... I just want to know more. I feel ready to explore this now, to be open to what he has to offer. The first step is to ask about his training.... He has what I have assumed to be some of his healing "props" in his office. (He has weird and interesting stuff!) I could say, "I have always wondered what you do with those things are over there. Can you tell me?"