Please go to see your therapist. She cannot increase your meds. She can only make suggestions to your pdoc and you can discuss your feelings about that with both her and your pdoc. You need to talk to someone and let them know what is going on, only if just to monitor you.

I know it is scary. I've been to my therapist a lot of times knowing he was going to want to contact my pdoc and I was afraid of what the outcome would be. It has turned out though that if he contacts her I am less likely to wind up IP (IOP isn't possible here so I don't have that to worry about) than if I waited until I just saw her.

You need to talk about the desire to self-harm and maybe develop a safety plan.

Do your nephew's parents know how bad you are feeling? I know my sister would always rather I told her I'm not well enough to babysit my nieces than to watch them when I'm really unwell. If I do it's not good for anyone.