((((((KIYA)))))

i am so sorry about what you have been through .... You have developed a survival strategy ... well done you ... you have some order about it.... thanks for sharing .... I have been confused about my behaviour all my life...I too was emotionally abused from 2/3 to very recently by my mother, basically ignored by my dad but he has always been there in times of need, and sexually abused from 8 - 15.

I admire you greatly, part of your story I can relate to ... if anything comes along that I cant cope to I turn to the same thoughts ... because I just want the peace ... I am in therapy at long last, and although I have someone to talk to proffessionally now, still wonder if it will help me.... I suppose time will tell.

I know I have to really get well from MY inside self ... but some days I have no energy for this, or inclination .... In therapy sometimes I feel exhausted and sort of want to sleep!!!!

This may be because I feel safe there ... or because I dont want to work?

Sorry I'm going off on one ... Just want you to know you are not alone, I hear you and you can pm me anytime .... nice to know someone feels similar ... you just use your words better than me and take half the time saying it ....

Hugs to a fellow survivor .... Jinnyann xxxxxxx