Hi Lennie,

I think De is onto something here. When we don't have positive reinforcement in our lives and one comes along, we crave it. We want to bask in it as long as we can and pull from it all those good feelings.

Even if it is as you say "a woman being attracted to a man", do you feel it would be appropriate for you to pursue this man since you know he is married?

I think, take what you can about what attracts you to him and put it into helping you find someone similar who is available. Remind yourself that the relationship you have with him is as a healthcare giver/client and nothing more.

We are all human and we all love to have that positive feedback from folks. I've had many relationships with men (friendships) that would take on the flirting aspects back and forth but that didn't mean anything more than 2 folks flirting and bolstering each others egos. We knew we would NEVER have any kind of relationship other than friendship between us.

I'm sure this is difficult for you Lennie. And personally I don't think there is anything wrong with having fantasies as long as thats where it stays...in our minds as a fantasy and is not acted upon.

I wish I could come up with better advice for you. It's obvious you are struggling with this. Maybe keeping in your mind the difference between right from wrong will help you get through this. Would you actively seek out a married man for a relationship??? Would you actively have an affair with a married man....someone who wasn't in your circle of caregivers? It's easy to attach oneself to those who give us care...they make us feel better right? Keeping in mind that it's their job and this is not a relationship outside of that job realm may help you work through this.

I wish you well Lennie!


sabby