My anxiety these past few days has been flaring up because of the constant critical thoughts that keep flooding my mind. My counsellor pointed out that most of them seem to be on the topic of "what will others think" and I can't help but think every step I take in my life is a mistake and that everyone is judging me. I can't help but think I perpetually upset people or make people feel frustrated with me or that my crying and sadness is so over the top that it puts people on edge. I'm afraid of hurting others all the time and i know it's because of some trauma that happened years ago to me as a child and i hate that my past rules my life. I'm an adult and I like to think that my childhood is behind me and that I don't have to be this way anymore but it's like it's ingrained in me and no matter how many positive affirmations I search for on Pinterest or how many meditation sessions I take every day, or self-care techniques or how many counselling sessions... it's like I can't find the right way to re-wire my mind and calm & quiet it. It won't stop. I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to be kind to myself. I've tried so hard. It's like I can't help but think all my friends must secretly hate me, when nothing they've done warrants that. I can't help but think that everything I do must offend them in some way because knowing me I just somehow believe I inevitably upset people, when I don't. I feel alone, I feel unloved and I feel stuck. I don't know how to get out of this, even though I try and remind myself this isn't permanent.