(((md2299))),

Hi and welcome to PC and the PTSD forums.

I am sorry you are struggling this way and this challenge is making it harder for you to concentrate on learning and achieving.

What you are describing is "fear of failure and being punished and rejected or abandoned" and this was something you experienced in your childhood which is something we NEVER forget and often when these fears are instilled in us at such a young age, it can take years to slowly resolve these deep psychological injuries and learn to "trust" self rather than these negative dysfunctional messages we were handed from a parent that clearly had no knowledge about child development and HEALTHY parenting.

What you are experiencing now is genuine fear of failure and the only way you can slowly conquer this is to be patient with self and do the best you can and understand that it's really ok if you don't end up getting top grades because the whole point of getting an education is learning how to learn. This is going to be different with each individual in that everyone learns a little differently. What is more important is for you to learn how YOU learn, and you "can" learn you are not stupid.