Not a session, but e-mail exchange with MC.
Me (Wed.): Hi MC,
So my second session with T2 yesterday went well. He seems to have a surprisingly good read on me, considering I've spent only 2.5 hours talking to him. Part of me wants to share some of the insights he's had, just because I'm curious as to your take on them. Like how he gets the sense that I'm a bit of a blank slate who is very strongly influenced by others' opinions of me. And he wants to work on me on having a strong enough sense of self that I'm not so swayed by others' approval or disapproval.
But I feel weird--almost guilty--talking to you about him. I think maybe you sensed that awkwardness when I mentioned him Monday, which is why you asked if his ears flopped around like Brownie's [the dog we owned for a day] (verdict: they don't!)--I think you were just trying to lighten things and make me see it was OK, which I appreciated. (Or, it could just be that you were trying avoid my talking about him for the last half of the session. Or maybe you really were curious about his ears...)
The thing is, by seeing him as a client and talking about him to you, I feel almost like I'm betraying you. When, really, if I were to feel like I'm betraying anyone, I'd think it would be T1. And maybe I feel like that a little bit, but not nearly to the same extent as with you. So I'm trying to figure out where that's coming from. I suspect it's because he's male and fairly close to your age (plus you know him). So it could seem like I'm trying to replace you. When that's not what it's about. (And, yes, I know, it would be fine with you whatever it was about, as long as he was helping me.)
So, OK, just needed to get those thoughts out, I guess. Could you just at least let me know you read this, when you have a chance?
Me (Thurs.): And of course I know this is something I should talk about with T2, too...
Me (Sat.): I guess I'm also worried that you're upset with me because I'm seeing someone other than T1. Like maybe she told you how our last session went and that she was hurt or saddened by it, so you're upset with me on her behalf. And yes, of course, this fear totally ties into some stuff with my parents...
MC (Sat.): Thanks LT. Got it. Sounds like a good start with T2.
Me (Sat.) (feeling let down by that response):
Thanks. And I assume you don't want to say anything about my fears that you're upset with me for leaving T1 to see him because that would fall under the "reassurance" category...
Me (Sat.): Maybe we can just talk about it in session for a bit?
MC (Sat.): Yes...but I am not angry at all. There is nothing about which to be angry.
--
That response made me feel better...
Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Oct 01, 2017 at 03:38 PM.
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