Thanks, sister.

The stuff he has in his office is so weird, I don't even know what it is. There is one basket of miniature red velvet pillows of slightly different shapes and sizes and other stuff that goes with it. I've blocked it out. I have the sense that the pillows are "heavy." Sometimes I come in his office and I know the last client has been lying down because I can see the indentation in the couch and these little pillows and stuff are strewn about where the client has been lying. He also has drums and other things that may make noise. Since this stuff is not for me, I tend to consider it "personal" and not pay attention to it or ask about it. I am looking for images in my unconscious, which has noticed this stuff, and I think I may see a stick of some kind, carved. And maybe also a hat? With beads on it?

Today I am feeling really depressed and now am having a hard time thinking about this impulse I had last night to learn more about his healing powers. How can things change on a dime like that? I am thinking of canceling my session because I just feel too overwhelmed. When I feel like this, it just feels pointless to go to therapy. What can he do to help? I just have too much to deal with and 50 minutes in a room alone with a therapist does not seem like it can do anything. It would be like a drop in the bucket. Pointless.