I have a confession to make and I will also like help to understand.

I lied to my ex boyfriend about my pregnancy just for the relationship to get better. I thought it will be the only way for him to commit and to go to therapy to work things together, but I feel really bad. He broke up with me but never knew the truth because I said I lost him at two months.
Why did I do that and how can I heal to never do it again?
Thank you