I don't know how much longer I can do this. Everyday I dread the next because I know it won't be any different than today. What will change? I hate night time, I dread it too because there are not enough distractions to keep me from my own mind. I hate social media because it mocks me. I just want what everyone else has. A life. I'm just stuck here not moving forward, not going anywhere. Not learning. Just left behind. Pretending to be fine. I just want to disappear. I know my problems are not as bad as many people but I can't control how I feel. All I can do is feel and I don't want to feel. I don't want to think either. The urge to leave just gets stronger and stronger. I just don't want to feel this way anymore.