I spent a lot nights like that. Just going crazy with restless dissatisfied energy. I can relate.

I tried for a really long time to fix my life. I spent years and years trying to cheer myself up in every way I could think of. Activities, and learning new things and trying to meet people and dating and etc etc. Looking back, I think it was good of me to have hope and keep trying, but I can tell you I was just dragging my same dissatisfied mind around with me everywhere I went. It was sad Brittany on a date. Sad Brittany at the park. Sad Brittany petting puppies at the pet store. For years. It felt like there was no way out. And constantly putting Sad Brittany in happy situations and not being happy there just magnified the fact that I wasn't happy.

I never found any relief until I started questioning my thoughts. And now I can feel happy and peaceful and excited anywhere anytime I want. I found that my internal life had very very little to do with my external circumstances.

So my advice, from the place where I've found peace and happiness and contentment and hope and excitement about the future, I would say question your thoughts. All of the statements you said in your original post. I would deconstruct your negative beliefs about your life and about the world and then see what happens to your life and the way you feel about it. It sounds like you have time on your hands and nothing to lose. So why not try it?

I'm not saying you're wrong about your life and your situation, I'm just saying there are multiple ways to look at something. Your way makes you miserable. So many check out your options.

Some of the stuff on my blog is about questioning your thoughts. Like this one. People Suck - Is it true? I know it sounds like bull at first but it worked for me. You can also check out Byron Katie on Youtube. I learned the method from her and she has some videos walking people through it. She has an actual step by step process that you work through and a worksheet you can fill out.