I mean absolutely no disrespect to anybody or their beliefs...

I grew up in a non religious and very religious setting my entire life. My mother who was my main care provider is non religious. She claims she believes in Jesus, Him, heaven and hell, but does not worship or attend church. My father on the other hand is a minister and is very religious, his entire life is dedicated to his devotion to Him. I naturally have questioned God and religion and at one point was a believer in the Christian way and at another point was a non believing atheist. My life has recently turned and I've realized that I've always deep down believed in an power larger then myself. It's in our human nature to have faith in something that explains what we cannot understand. I've come to realize how important faith is and how lonely and twisted this world is without it. I don't necessarily believe because of fear, but because of enlightenment.

My God:
Isn't pure nor mistake free. It, he, her...isn't identifiable nor fathomable. With all the minds in the world combined with the wisest of philosophers and theologists, my God could not be understood. God is apart of us, and our human mind could not grasp God. We couldn't possibly understand the morals, values, rules, sacredness, divinity, or anything else related to God. I don't believe God judges neither, because judgement is a humanistic expression. Nobody burns in damnation, again...discipline is humanistic. I think the moment we our conceived within our mothers womb we apart of God and God is apart of us. The only thing our human mind could possibly grasp in the aspect of God is the idea of God. Our senses are God. The only way could ever consume God from the outside would to surrender all human sensory and take him in through nature. Even then we could only handle a sample because physically we couldn't ever feel God.

The only reason people lack belief is because they've relied on their physical senses to define their environment...if they can't see it, feel it, hear it, or taste it...they believe it must not be there. But what they don't understand is what not to understand...and that is beyond their limitations. Could you blame them? I surely don't.

Something inside me has changed recently. I didn't have a miraculous event....I didn't find love, nor did anybody influence my concept through conversation. Just simple discovery through aesthetics. Beauty is the greatest door in relation of God. Things I've never once considered beautiful are now. I'm connecting with my God....it feels to good to describe, I no longer feel so alone. My human emotions can't possibly grasp how grand this is. I believe things will begin to change for me.