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Old Oct 02, 2017, 08:14 AM
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UpDownAround UpDownAround is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: 3rd rock from Sun
Posts: 2,717
I have done pretty well off and on meds through the years but always maintaining a senior level software development job since my first diagnosis 23 years ago. During the 15 years prior to that I was working without any medication and not realizing what the symptoms were. There have been hiccups. I took a demotion at my current company several years ago during a major depressive episode. I was convinced that my leadership role doomed the project to failure and refused to continue in that role. I was lucky not to be fired. The person who took over the leadership role was prone to profanity laced rants in meetings and often argued with others in design meetings. While this made the workplace somewhat toxic, my arrogance and poor communication skills during hypomanic episodes was tolerated better than it would have been in a more professional setting. I told someone in HR about my disorder.

Most of the time my swings are not that severe and there have been periods of 2-3 years at a time where it was more like cyclothymia than full bipolar disorder. But then I would take a deep dive into major depression or get delusional (thinking I am immortal is my most common one) and/or "go nuclear" on someone I was debating a point with while hypomanic. Diagnosis is based on your worst episodes, so mine is type II bipolar disorder. I am currently taking meds and feel closer to being stabilized than I have in a long time.

EDIT TO ADD - I am 5 to 7 years from retirement, so I think I am going to be able to pull this off though it is becoming more difficult; I have had some declines in attention, memory and logical reasoning. Not so much that I fear not being able to work, just that when this job ends (likely in the not too distant future, before retirement) I will likely have to take a lower paying, less challenging job. The projects I have worked on for years are in maintenance now and the work is not as demanding as it was during development.
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Up and down
|And in the end it's only round and round
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Pink Floyd - Us and Them
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|bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD
|lamictal, straterra
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Last edited by UpDownAround; Oct 02, 2017 at 08:58 AM.
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