I was very manic for a very long time (6 months) when I got my diagnosis. He read off the symptoms of mania and I started crying. I thought I had just become a bad person with no moral compass. He sent me to the hospital the same day and when the meds started to work it felt like the last 6 months was just a horrible dream...but it was reality. Lots of work to try and get back my life. But I managed to and have been terrified of going that high again. That's why I Squash hypomania with strong ap's before I go full blown manic.