I had a vile dream several days ago. It affected me so badly my best friend urged me to let my therapist know. She said she hadn't seen me in that kind of state (highly dissociative) since before I knew about my DID. I think the dream is a memory, or part of a memory, because of how deeply it affected me. I've had nightmares before, but not like this. At the same time I cannot accept it as a memory. It threatens my sense of past reality too much.
After a day of awful, I felt it diminishing. I could think rationally again. My alter, Sire, who talks to me and comes forward a lot, disappeared. When I finally got him to communicate, he told me he doesn't want to come forward because he is trying to keep me from the pain. Apparently, all the ugly went to him to carry. I don't want him to just suffer. He is full of physical pain all over, and is slipping into a deep depression. The CR meeting is tonight and I've urged him to go, which he agreed to do on the condition that he shut me out. This will be difficult, because we are very coconscious. I don't want to be flooded with his trauma material, but he (we) needs some kind of support. I can't just let him hurt like this.
Questions: any insight? How does your system manage pain?