I went to IOP two days and then called and said I'm not going back. The first day was after an overdose on clozapine and I don't remember it at all, although apparently I had said some very mean things to the doctor and the program director. Good. The doctor is evil and wants to sabatoge the good in my life, as are all the pdocs Ive had. They're using the pills to take away my intelligence and success.
I see a new pdoc next week. The plan is to convince him to take me off clozapine. If that doesn't work plan B is to take myself off clozapine. If I do it slowly enough I'm sure I can avoid the worst of withdrawals and rebound symptoms.