Personally, I used SI for 20 years and nobody I mean NOBODY knew that I did it. So for me personally it is not about getting attention...unless I was trying to get my own attention. As for cutters wanting to die...well if I really wanted to die I would just slit my wrists, I mean big deal, the skin over those veins is not much thicker then I have cut in other places. The thing is I really DON'T want to die. I don't want to go through this life again on my next turn on the wheel, if I kill myself then the lesson hasn't been learned and when I get reincarnated I am stuck in the same old senerio trying to learn what ever it is I am to learn this time around. SO I don't want to kill myself. I may want to die but I don't deep down want to kill myself. So personally I think that they are full of (insert the product of a bodily function here) and just don't know what they are talking about.

As far as the urge increasing, maybe you should just let up on yourself a bit. It is very clear that you are not ready to stop right now. Denying yourself may be driving yourself to do more damage. I don't know it just reminds me of when I would deny myself icecream then end up eating the whole 1/2 gallon. Just a thought.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson