First session with Potential New T today. Overall I wasn’t impressed. Unfortunately she’s not RoboT.

Started out asking me the basics. Appetite, sleep, suicidality, why therapy?

We delved into my history like, only surface level. She likes to focus on the present. I get that. I agree to an extent, but I also feel like she needs to know how my past influences my present.

Talked about work, mainly because I had an awful day at work. There’s this one student this year who triggers my imposter syndrome to the max. So we talked about looking at them objectively. They have needs met by demoralizing me. Okay.

Talked about my incredibly low self worth. She brought up my husband a lot in that conversation. Recommended that I validate internally instead of seeking his validation externally. “I must be lovable. He really loves me! If he loves me, I must be lovable.”

Then she wanted to know about my perceived strengths. She said it was obvious that I’m highly intelligent, and it was likely my intelligence that helped to keep me...functional?

Mostly there was a lot of awkward pauses and me unwilling to open up. I know that the deck was stacked against her, so I’m going to give her one more chance. But if I had to make a decision today or if another more appealing clinician turned up? I’d be gone.