I can't help you with what it feels like to be schizophrenic; I can give you some glimpses into what it feels like to be psychotic, however. I've been so paranoid, so certain that others were out to get me, or kill me, that I've planned and considered both suicide and homocide as options. For me ,psychosis is extreme paranoia, hearing voices, and feeling that my life is threatened. What you describe [delusions, paranoia, perhaps hallucinations?] are symptoms of psychosis. Whether you are schizophrenic or not is up to a doctor to decide. You might want to consider seeing a psychiatrist; or check out the resources people have shared in this forum here. Please keep in mind that schizophrenia is often diagnosed in your age group [late adolescence to early adulthood.]

I can identify with a lot of what you've said to a lesser extent; confusing reality and dreams, wondering if the people around you aren't really there, and thining or knowing that people are monitoring you. I don't know if it's any comfort to you that other people have thought the same things you have.

I'm sure that somebody here will be able to answer your questions and give appropriate suggestions; someone suggested journaling to me, and I've found it helpful. Sharing is often the ifrst step to helping yourself, and sometimes it does help to put your experiences down on paper.

Good luck, and I hope you keep posting.