You are understanding, and it's much appreciated. Exactly as you say: My position is, "Don't spurn me so thoroughly because my life didn't pan out as you once expected it would, and, then, go through some hollow ritual of sending an annual gift that's not accompanied by any real openess to friendship."

I am always hoping for a thaw in this cold formality, but I've clung to this hope for over ten years. How do I work things out? I've tried my best to keep channels open. I've created opportunities for the resumption of "regular order," so to speak. I willingly go way more than halfway down the road to meet her, but I find myself in the road . . . . . alone. People need to give each other a sign. I've been signaling. There's no response.

This is very hurtful. I'm going through a tough period in my life. My S.O. is has one foot in the grave. So, when he succumbs, she will send a nice sympathy card and enclose a check with a note saying, "May this small gift get you some little thing that might bring you some comfort in your time of trouble." (It'll be dripping with false modesty and saccharine sweet tenderness.) Don't bother. Don't ever bother.

I sound bitter. Over ten years I've had of this. I can't take it anymore.