Glad you're feeling better. Still thinking about that analogy...
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When we agree to link up with someone, part and parcel of that relationship is to use our strengths where the other has weakness. No one person can do everything, especially everything a relative might impose! Being able to fill in for one another is part of the team work!

(Think of short term projects for work and the team, how you accomplish so much more once you realize Joe doesn't do on=time well, Mike is great at visualization, Mary has to have everything in writing, but she's great with expressive writing! The team compensates for the lack of another, and uses the strength of those who have what is needed.)

Skylrks said it well, right off the bat: if what I'm helping with contributes to an unhealthy symptom in a partner, then it's enabling and not healthy for anyone. But if something isn't hurting anyone, what's the big deal? The machinery is running smoothly.

Now back to your analogy For: Case in point actually! My oldest brother and his wife sent mother cards each and every holiday, occasion, along with flowers special delivery (they lived all over the world.) It thrilled my mother for years and years. After my brother's wife died: no cards. no flowers. Of course she realizes just WHO was sending the thoughts... and it saddens her that her son didn't do it. But did that taint the joy all those years? Nah.