Controlling, for me, is related to anxiety. When I recognize I'm anxious and "accept"/agree that that is so, I can usually better control my controlling :-)

Today I got into an argument while driving a friend to an appointment, about exits on the highway and I'd never even driven that route! I was able to hear the frustration level rising in my friend and "let it go" and trust that she knew what she was talking about and that, since I was driving her to her appointment and had no stake in which way we went, I could try her way and her knowledge. So I apologized and admitted to having never actually driven that way and talked to myself out loud that since I'd never been that way and had no stake in the outcome, that it was wrong of me to try to control how we got there.

It's becoming helpful to me to help others and while doing so, make myself let them "control" since it's their situation, not mine. That helps me later, when I'm with others on my tasks, to let them help me with suggestions and look at/share/comfort my anxieties.

Recognizing that you can be controlling is a good first step. Letting people know you know is a good second step and trying to listen to when others are trying to tell you you are over controlling or when there's an argument, stopping and internally figuring out what stake you have in the argument/whether you care about the result or just about being "right" helps me. If you have a more laid back friend or husband, etc. talking about things with them and getting their point of view might help. My husband got me thinking about the old empty toilet paper/paper towel problem and who should change it :-) and, for the 2 of us, there's a 50:50 chance that one will be last or next using something so there's no reason that my stepmother was "right" about changing the toilet paper when you use the last bit, since you might be next to need it and can change it then. A lot of the controlling "rules" I have going for me that I follow are left over stepmother rules and I've never examined them for myself. Make it an "experiment" to start examining every "fact" that you state? "This way is best", "I want X" see where that idea comes from and some of it will be leftover childhood or old fears that don't exist anymore.

I had fun with my friend because when we got off on the exit I had maintained didn't exist :-) it was hard to get off the highway, I had to cross a lane of traffic and people could have been in it (a crisscross sort of situation, dangerous and scary to me) and I teased her and told her I'd make her pay for that. But looking at the other person as a teammate/partner in crime can help too? Sometimes they are right, sometimes you are; both of you get to control/switch off.