So I am 46 soon to be 47. My whole life i have been over weight. Not bad but.. from the time I graduated college I was just at about 200 and I would stay there for a few years and then lose weight down about 40-50 lbs and stay there for a few years. So over all of 25 or so reproductive years... I was probably normal weight for 12 of them.

So at work I had a co worker who was 325 lbs from the first day she started work.. never lost any weight. She also didn't have kids (like me) -- one thing that was different was that she drank. She got sick at 57 and pretty much died instantly from uterine cancer. That was scary and tragic. I can still see her in the casket.

I had another friend who had been abut 270 lbs the entire time I worked with her and she has no kids. In the last 5 or so years she lost about 30 lbs but still was like 240. Well she too now has come down with uterine cancer and it considered bad. She was not a drinker. She is 55.

In light of the tons of people I know with uterine cancer right now.. last year I started back dieting.. and so far, I did pretty good. I am down about 23 lbs of about 60 and I am planning on doing this slowly.

But I am freaking out and feeling terrified that the years I was fat are going to doom me. It is so depressing.

Also so many people at my workplace are sick. Another friend has breast cancer and another person's mom has uterine cancer... it is depressing. And freaks me out.

I am doing what I can to stay healthy. I take vitamin D3 and I take progesterone to balance out any hormone issues. I had my saliva tested twice and my estrogen didn't seem that that high.