I’ve been doing fairly well lately except for past two hours. Went to the gym and saw myself and my belly. It brought me down. I tried using coping skills to no avail. It went further. I started to think I’m going to be alone again this New Years. Been teary since. I need a boost. I hope I speak with my iop doctor and he can give me vyvanese or some diet pill. I do binge eat at times and can’t control it.

2). I believe my doctor doesn’t think I’m bipolar. He mentioned unipolar nd I’ve been off an ap for about two weeks. So, I use to watch x files as a child and as a grown up. When I was a child, maybe teenage years I would sometimes be afraid to sleep cause I would think aliens would abduct me. I’m having those feelings now. I know it’s 99% not true and I don’t think I’m a great savior in some interstellar war (sounds like a book I’d read) but the thought of abduction is there.

Also I’m constantly asked if I feel people are out to get me. I always answer no, but lately at night I’m sometimes scared to go out cause I think an animal will tear me apart. When I got home from the gym I was a little on the edge and thought someone was behind me (nope no one there) and was looking out for skunks, bears (highly unlikely where I live) and rabid raccoons (raccoons highly likely, they love our dumpster). Am I psychotic?