hi again mouse and (((( hugs ))))
i share your angst over the controlling thing.
do you feel posessive too? I do. kills me. I'm threatened by my own bf's son. i can't reason with it. it's on auto pilot.

i'm thinking about it now and maybe the control is because we are so very terrorfied of abandonment and loss...that it is so unbearable and so impossible to contemplate that we think...somehow...by our being controlling that we will somehow literally control that person and keep ourselves safe. altho it never works...they leave...they show us every minute that they don't live for us...they live for themselves...and we feel like an empty shell that doesn't know how to live for ourselves because we only know ourselves through our interaction with them. like if you are looking at me...in my eyes...i am real. i am safe. i am here.