I know this will probably sound crazy but i hate that people have a body. it disgusts me!

I hate all the sounds of it: eating, drinking, vomiting, snoring, talking, breathing, etc

and i hate that people can touch me. some people are "allowed" in my mind, but most of them arent, and i hate it when they touch my body with theirs.

and romantically.... cuddling, kissing, sex.... how could i live with anyone?

i have tried to ignore all of this all my life but right now i cant anymore. im sick of it!

ideally id love to live in an isolated room. people.... i dont know... with them i feel unsafe, bothered, too stimulated.... i feel hurt? by all of this.

and i dont see a way out since... unless i decide to become an hermit or ??? not even living in my own flat and never getting out seems enough since there are always neighbors around with their noises... and i cant afford a villa for sure. cant even afford a flat...

i dont know but i feel this is just another reason to just give up. just another proof that im not made for this life.