So we don't talk. We stopped talking almost 3 years ago... It's hard to explain, but I've applied a lot of thought to the matter, and I think I've figured some things out.

She wants to talk. She's expressed this many times, including in messages to me.

I can't.

The problem is, I didn't cut her off. She brought a puppy home, against everyone's wishes, and next day left it alone, unsupervised, locked in her room while she went to college, to come home late at night, after it had pooped on the floor of the room.

I didn't give her the silent treatment.

I was furious, and berated her for her irresponsible behaviour, especially towards a living being. It was somewhat out of character for me, but I was in a stage of trying to have a honest, transparent relationship.

So next day she gave me the silent treatment.

I guess it's supposed to be an effective method of dealing with negative emotions?

We had actually had a long period (1.5 years) of not talking to each other many years before that. But I was a very different person in many ways, and tried to figure myself out. It had taken an unstable, unformed part of me to start talking again. In some ways manic, obsessive.

What I am now is a lot more disillusioned, depressive, cognizant of my inability to interact with the world effectively.

And my sister's become more part of that world than someone close.

In many ways she's become a stranger, and for me it's very hard to deal with strangers. I can't initiate an interaction, I have to be the target. I don't become a friend, people befriend me (not now).

But it's worse than that.

Because it's weird.