I’m a rapid-cycler, too. I have had some long episodes, however. I was manic for six months a few years ago, yikes. I always take my meds, too. I’ve had a depressive episode that lasted five months.

My predominant mood state is mixed episode, which I really.....I hate feeling that way. I’m recovering from one now. I started feeling better two days ago. Hopefully I’ll feel upbeat soon. I tend to be mildly hypomanic as my general normal state...I don’t consider them episodes, in my case.

I cycle every year, May through August.

Other times, I’ll rapid cycle and it’s when I am under an extreme amount of stress for an extended period of time. I’m having one of those times, it started last November and it’s day by day.

I had an IP stay earlier this year because I couldn’t sleep for five nights straight. I became manic and had the insight to call my pdoc. It was the first time he has ever admitted me into IP. This was a mood unit and I did need it.

I almost had to go to the hospital last week. I was disassociating and cycled into a mixed episode. My bf is very supportive, but he was out of town. He urged me to call for an ambulance—but I couldn’t leave my stepdad alone (he’s terminally ill and I take care of him). My goal is always to never return to the hospital, but I can only do my best. It was strange, my last IP stay, as I was the only person not depressed.

Mixed episodes can be dangerous in terms of safety, but my days of attempts are over. I struggled when I was in my abusive marriage. I am strongly committed to not trying ever again, it would destroy my family (as my pdoc says) and it always passes.

I am just glad my stepdad was sleeping a lot. I didn’t want him to know how unwell I was and, frankly, I couldn’t take care of him right then and vice-versa.

It’s a roller coaster, rapid cycling.