Blue, I hope you stay safe. Wild Coyote is spot on. Also, you will not always feel like you are now. And, you rapid cycle.

I am....recuperating. Disassociated more than I ever have before and I cycled into mixed episode. I lost time and when I came back, my mixed state, I couldn’t sit or lay down. I paced around my house or stood for days.

I had to cope on my own. The disassociation was confusing. I initially thought I was having a psychotic break.

I later realized I wasn’t psychotic but I wished that had happened instead. Never thought I’d prefer psychosis for any reason, at all. Dark times, stayed out of IP. Have support now and resting.