Her silences are for you, to give you room and time. Whatever is happening you can say it. Sometimes I just get stopped and the silence doesn't help and I just say I don't know what to say.

If I'm done talking about something for the time being, I say that I don't want to talk any more about that right now.

I am still withholding, flat emotionally a lot, and I censor what I say. But we both know that because we talk even bout that.

The closeness I feel with her is more about how she gives me this room, the silences, and the acceptance with such gentleness and kindness. And even though it feels really good to me, a lot of that feeling isn't with me until after I leave there. I hope that I get better at feeling it while I'm there with her. Sometimes I'm so uptight and uncomfortable there for a lot of the session.

I don't mean that this is how it is for you, or how it should be for you or anyone else. I just wanted to share with you because my T sounds similar to yours. She's quiet, but it's a strong quietness that feels secure and accepting to me.

It sounds like you're doing really well with her.

Some of my favorite things she's said is to "Begin wherever you are", "Take this in any direction you choose", and my very favorite: "You are right where you're supposed to be."

It sounds like she accepts you wherever you are at the moment, and that the silences are a gift of time and space for you to do whatever you choose: continue on a topic or change topics or take a moment to breathe and just "be" there with her.