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wildflowerchild25 · Oct 04, 2017, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I was starting to feel better after going back on my antipsychotic, but I think I took 2 steps back.

Possible trigger:

I'm trying not to give in to my recurring urges to OD on Klonopin because I know the depression will pass. And yet, I realize that I will struggle with depression on and off for the rest of my life, possibly getting more severe as I age, which makes me feel hopeless. Like, "there's no cure, so why bother?" That sort of thing.

I don't f_cking know. I'm at work right now and away from my medications. I'm hoping I will relax a little before going home. I might even stay here until 8 or 9pm if that's the time I need to be safe. Work is safer than home, as I don't have access to medications. And if I have to, I'll skip my medications tonight altogether. Probably bad idea to skip medications, but if I know FOR SURE that I will OD, then it's best to skip.)

I have felt exactly like this in depression. Like I know it's just going to keep coming back so why tf bother? However, I have been mostly stable (minus the little hiccup in the summer from changing meds) for almost two years now. Give it a chance. You know going on and off meds doesn't help either. You need to commit to either medication or living med free. Going on and off can make your rapid cycling worse.

It will get better, blue. I hope you stay safe.