I have been down in the hole, overwhelmed by self-loathing, convinced that it's all pointless. And always a day or two later I'm back to where I can at least cope and see some light. The takeaway for me is that it's not some ultimate reality but just a pattern replaying itself in my head. It's enough for me to step back and not take it too seriously.

I can't pretend to know you. Hopefully my experience has some meaning for you.