Sorry you are so stuck in sadness and not loving yourself right now

Logically it seems like we should all just grow up and leave childhood behind. Easy Peasy. But there is no room for logic when we are in emotional pain. Unfortunately it's just not that simple. Especially in cases where there was neglect and abuse.

The worst of all is feeling shame or believing that somehow it was our fault. It can take a long time to come to grips with that. All I can say is start treating yourself as if you were your very own best friend. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would for a friend who is suffering. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you love you with all your heart and soul. It may feel like a bald faced lie. But eventually you WILL learn to love yourself.

As you start loving yourself, the worry about what other people think of you will start to drop away