I do understand. I'm 59 and have been treated for depression for 30 years. I have learned to push away flashbacks for the most part. Some I do allow myself to think about, only to take the horror out of it. Sometimes works, sometimes not. In effect, I have "learned myself" over the years. I know what memories or actions will cause me to have a downswing and am very careful about allowing it to happen. I realize these are things that took years to recognize. I think we have more power over our thoughts and feelings than we think we have. It seems overwhelming at first, but I think with some practice you can do it.