Echoes, your comments make perfect sense. Intellectually, I know the anxiety and negativity is generated in my head and not coming from her. When I try to support my irrational assumptions, there is no evidence.

Ah don't you just love the tension between who we were, who we are, and who we want to be. Once you gain some new awareness, you have to deal with repairing what the pass you did. Unfortunately, I my case, I may also be finding that some relationships may not survive the transition. Fuffy I think it was you in another post that said.. you can't go back to being unaware.

I should start warning new friends by wearing a T-shirt Person under construction, interact at your own risk :-)