Update: The last few days have been hard. I was scolded by the guidance counselor for “hurting” former best friends feelings. Im fighting the normal ups and downs during the day in which I start choking on these unprovoked tears. Today I had a moment of joy while in school: my creative writing teacher has given himself the task of helping me find happiness and today he cracked through this brittle shell. He let me borrow his typewriter. This action had an affect on me that is almost indescribable. I laughed and almost cried. Also a girl sat by me at lunch today! My sister never showed up anyway but I made this girl feel better... When I knew her a few years ago she wasn’t very nice but shes all Ive got. I said hi to 5 people today trying to stimulate a friendly environment. Im really trying guys and I really want to be happy but im so overwhelmed.