It's funny, I have very similar symptoms. You're right... they can fit lots of disorders. I feel for you.

I can only speak about myself, but in some ways, it was easier to see myself as having BPD or multiple personalities etc than accepting the truth... that I just had extremely low self-esteem.

That's been hard to grasp, and I've spent a lot of time fleeing it.

It's flared up recently due to an angry boss. That's why I recently joined the forum. She exposes my weak defences (following a frightening childhood). It's pretty humiliating. But, it is the truth, so that's that.