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Pennkid: Can someone explain to me if that sounds like early signs of schizophrenia? or describe to me what it feels like to have schizophrenia, it would help a lot, thx.

Here's one description of schizophrenia ...

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MICHAEL O'CALLAGHAN: How does one define so-called schizophrenia?

JOHN WEIR PERRY: Jung defined it most succinctly. He said...

<font color=blue>"Schizophrenia is a condition in which the dream takes the place of reality." This means that the unconscious overwhelms the ego-consciousness, overwhelms the field of awareness with contents from the deepest unconscious, which take mythic, symbolic form. And the emotions, unless they're hidden, are quite mythic too. To a careful observer, they're quite appropriate to the situation at hand.

The way "schizophrenia" unfolds is that, in a situation of personal crisis, all the psyche's energy is sucked back out of the personal, conscious area, into what we call the archetypal area. Mythic contents thus emerge from the deepest level of the psyche, in order to re-organise the Self. In so doing, the person feels himself withdrawing from the ordinary surroundings, and becomes quite isolated in this dream state.</font>

O'C: Did Jung really see this as a healing process?

PERRY: He did indeed! He believed that "schizophrenia" is a self-healing process - one in which, specifically, the pathological complexes dissolve themselves. The whole schizophrenic turmoil is really a self-organising, healing experience. It's like a molten state. Everything seems to be made of free energy, an inner free play of imagery through which the alienated psyche spontaneously re-organises itself - in such a way that the conscious ego is brought back into communication with the unconscious again.

Source: Mental Breakdown as Healing


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my worst fear is that Ill turn into one of those old bums who lost everything in his life and talks to himself. Im pretty smart and I used to be in gifted classes so maybe I wont turn into someone like that, but I hope god that I can still live kind of normally if I have it.

I just bumped an old discussion back to the top of the page -- it's called Schizophrenia & Hope. You might find it eases your mind somewhat to read it.