I haven't posted here in a long time. So much has happened - 6 therapists, 2 psychiatric hospitals, and countless ER visits later, I think I'm a different person. I've come so close to suicide that nothing really seems to matter anymore. I've had four serious attempts and so many relapses. Well, I have a diagnosis now. Bipolar 1 and PTSD. It's been a long road, but hopefully, it gets easier.