I'm sorry, your sister just sounds like a really shallow person who's not very connected to the world at-large. Hard times are good for people or lean times. It teaches you how to get by and how to survive, so you can truly appreciate the wealthy times. It also teaches you innovation and creativity because you have to learn to make do without things. And you learn who your real friends are.

I understand about the obligatory gift thing. I abhor that. My family has been doing that for years. I just stopped. There is so much bad blood between all of us and I don't understand what the fake Hallmark cards and $25 gift cards are really supposed to be saying. I don't want freaking gift cards, I want time. My family could never understand that I valued their time and friendship and companionship more than some stupid gift. I can buy myself whatever I need or want (although right now wants are all on hold because I'm looking for a new job). I don't need or want their stupid gift card. What I do want is a Saturday morning to go fishing or go to the movies...but they never want to do that. I used to be really close to my brother and one day, after I had been a nanny for him for his first child for 2 years, and complained that he never called me for anything except babysitting these days, he told me point blank he couldn't spend time with me anymore, and that was from his wife. What kind of wife drives a wedge between two siblings? They always thought I was out for their money because I struggled for a while when I was in grad school (I was a grad student, grad students struggle financially, it's a rule) and then I worked in the nonprofit field so even though I completely supported myself, both of my siblings made more than me because they went into IT.

Anyways, my point is that I stopped sending cards and pointless gifts after all the bad blood because I'm honestly not close with my family, except my mom, because they are all users and abusers and why would I keep in touch with people who have physically abused me?

Honestly, it's hard, but I wouldn't bother with that relationship with your sister. Keep in contact with the sister who has some compassion, caring, and empathy, and let the other one be as she is. You can't change her. Accept her yearly gifts, send her a thank you note, and just let it go. Send a gift if you want to, but only if you want to, not because you're obligated to.

That's my take.

And to answer your original question, I would say that no, in general wealthy people aren't uncomfortable with less wealthy people, but money between family members is super weird, and I would say that within families that it can be true that there is a level of discomfort. Because family members tend to expect everyone in their family to be at the same "level" and they don't understand when someone values something else.

Seesaw