Today I went to see the nurse for a diabetic review and another nurse for the noises in my ears.The other nurse checked my ears and said there was no wax in them,she checked my throat and said I still had the virus I went to see her about three weeks ago,she said they can take ages to heal themselves up.She said that that was causing the ear noises cos fluid around the ears cannot drain cos of the swelling.I also have a cough,there is no medicine for a virus the body has to heal itself.

I cam home and did the washing up and put it away.Then had some food and been potting about since,been online a bit.I am feeling run down and a bit low but it could be worse.If I have a good nights sleep tonight I will go watch a film tomorrow and eat a curry at the pub.

It is hard to know what to do with myself being totally alone and not always having much money.I miss my niece she is away at university.I see my mum but we haven't got much that is new to talk about lately.I don't see my sister cos she violently abused me for 35 years so I walked out on that relationship exactly three years ago it will be on 14th October 2017.I am better off without her,I am less likely to end up back in the mental hospital with her out of my life.When she was abusing me I'd break down every three years and go in hospital cos she used to deliberately plot to make me ill hoping I'd commit suicide.It is a long story,hopefully it is over now.

I couldn't go see a film yesterday cos I was so under the weather more than the usual chronic illness I deal with,couldn't face going out...it is cold here today also.
I guess I will just take things one day at a time and see what happens in so far as what I can achieve....creatively and relationship wise....my gut is telling me I have plenty of time my fears say I am going to die soon...not sure which is correct...so much illness leads me to think I have not got long left,sounds right.Yet,you hear of people chronically ill living for years to a ripe old age and those that have never had a thing wrong all their lives and whom have been healthy dying young.I don't know if I die I die I have no power over that!It has been worrying me a lot lately.