Yeah it was the lifeline chat. I wasn't actively suicidal just feeling very depressed and having a lot of suicidal ideation. I wanted to talk to someone but calling wasn't an option. I wouldn't want my husband to overhear me on the phone, there isn't a lot of privacy in our small house. He is supportive but it really stresses him out when I'm having suicidal thoughts and I don't like to burden him. Usually I just tell him I'm not doing well or I'm down and I spare him the details. I have an appointment with my therapist today so I just kind of had to hold it together last night. I'm trying really hard not to relapse with cutting. It's been over a year. So I just really wanted to be able to use a chat room and get some stuff off my chest so I could calm down my anxiety and go to sleep. Thanks for the resources Singer. I don't want to die, I have a lot to live for, I just hate having so much ideation and feeling really low all the time.