cms, it sounds like your marriage is exactly the kind that could benefit from marriage counselling. Based on what you say, I get the impression that you both are missing certain things in the relationship, but don't know how to express those needs in a way that gets them filled. Counselling can be a place where you can learn to express your (both of your) needs without the other feeling like it's an accusation.

Good luck.
*hugs*
Jo