Welcome to PC! ((((Hugs))))

I know you love your fiance and must love him dearly in order to consider a marriage with him, but I have to ask, what are you really getting out of this relationship? Seems he is still hung up on his ex, is not trustworthy, does not lift a finger to help you with your daughter and bemoans the loss of a family that could have been. To me, this all says he is still hung up on her rather than over their child together. From what you say, their child is well looked after. Naturally a father should want to be involved, but why does he moan over his daughter's well being when he is not even involved in his child's life with you?

Very sorry to say it, but I think you're getting the short end of the bargain here. I don't know what to advise you, but have you considered talking this over with a therapist? It seems he could benefit from therapy himself, but if it were me, I would be reconsidering a marriage with someone who has tried to get back together with their ex behind my back while with me and who is still hung up on them. He has not moved on and is not involving himself in his life with you and your child together.

I hope I am not upsetting you by being so honest. I hope you can come to a solution with this, and one that makes you feel happier. (((((more hugs)))))