I appreciate your reply Perna xx
I can interact with other people and do so on a daily basis. My only fear is liking my carers and then losing them.....only because I've lost so many people in my life so far that I don't want to get hurt again. I've had a chat with my nurse about my concerns and he told me that they are completely normal and justified considering my life experiences so far. He understands that having led such a private life regarding my problems for 20 years, and then having to open up to a complete stranger is an overwhelming experience for me. He has encouraged me to accept my relationship with my nurse and support worker and not be afraid of it. He also assured me that he did genuinely care about me and wasn't just 'doing his job'. He told me not to feel pressured to answer the phone if I don't feel up to it, I must do what I feel I can cope with. After chatting with him I feel so much better and have agreed to carry on with the daily contact. He is visiting me on monday and says we can chat about it further. But as my moods and thoughts change so rapidly, I already feel ok so much better about things - I just needed to recognise it and 'let it all out'.