Hey there-I agree you are being too hard on yourself. I’m glad you’re in treatment.

You don’t need someone to be happy. I’m by myself, and I’m OK with it.

I once was over the edge about being alone. I didn’t see how I could live, it was sooo bad right after my husband died. So so bad. I was talking on the bus to an older man who told me how happy he is to not have a girlfriend, and that it was nice to just do what he wanted. He felt that misery comes from trying to keep someone else happy.

Somehow hearing that helped me. I thought about that and him a lot. He really seemed happy! It was possible to be happy alone.

A lady at work told me you get used to being alone. I couldn’t picture it, but she had been divorced a long time, and she seemed OK. Really OK—happy even.

Well, I ended up with a boyfriend from my grief support group. You know, I was miserable after a while. We didn’t like to do the same things.

I haven’t seeked anyone else out. Im not against having someone again, but I’m not looking.

It is possible to be OK without someone. Getting there is probably going to make you more attractive to others.

Is it maybe catastrophic, black and white thinking? That thought of “never again” is painful and probably not true.