What's inside the tw isn't really new. It's something that's infrequent but recurring for me. It's been over a year since the last time, up until yesterday that is. I feel it in the back of my mind, like a mountain lion in the tree line just waiting 'til my back is turned. I've told my T about SI driven intrusive thoughts before, but I've never told him this specific stuff or exactly how bad it gets at times. I sort of shared a little with my friend yesterday as she was attempting to talk me down. The people that are at risk for getting hurt are the people closest to me, it seems. People that I always have a certain level of anxiety towards because I'm probably way too attached to their presence.