I go through periods of time where I really see how deeply CPTSD impacts me and that the best course of action is to continue to work through things, learn more techniques to keep me grounded and able to concentrate and focus. Then I move into a period of time (heading there now) where I think that I should be able to just deal with, ignore it and move on. But even during those times when I'm in my denial stage, I do have moments that I realize that the impacts of CPTSD are real and aren't just going to go away.
I think this new denial stage I'm going into isn't going to last long. There are a lot of bad vibes at work and the stress is building there. Yesterday was pretty bad. I see next week as being very challenging. There are a lot of projects coming up that I have a significant role in, and the deadlines are very tight.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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